


OneShot DrabblePants

by PrincessPlantasaurus



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), The SpongeBob Musical - Various/Anthony & Coulton/Jarrow
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, College AU, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Monsters vs Aliens AU, Musical Based, One Shot Collection, battle of the bands au, monster au, will update tags/characters/relationships as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27578135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessPlantasaurus/pseuds/PrincessPlantasaurus
Summary: 3-ish years ago, I created this account to host my now-abandoned College AU fic based on the Spongebob Musical, while writing dozens if not hundreds of drabbles on my Tumblr account. Now, I'm back to writing drabbles, but I'll be crossposting them here. Only includes drabbles from 2020, all my old drabbles are still only hosted on my Tumblr.Chapter 5: Canon musical, Perch visits the Chum Bucket to ask Karen for a favor.Chapter 6: Canon musical, Karen locks Plankton in Spot's kennel.Chapter 7: Battle of the Bands AU, light banter within Team of TresChapter 8: Canon musical, Plankton and Karen watch a particularly bad storm from the windowChapter 9: Everyone is human except Karen who's a robot AU, Plankton wakes up from a nightmareChapter 10: College AU, Sheldon sees Karen without her glasses.Chapter 11: Office AU, what seems like a routine day for Karen results in a startling confessionChapter 12: In an alternate Act 2 of the musical, Spongebob finds Karen alone, damaged from the avalancheChapter 13: Monster AU, Plankton and Karen discuss the novelty of their relationship
Relationships: Karen & Perch Perkins, Karen & SpongeBob SquarePants, Karen/Sheldon J. Plankton, Sandy Cheeks & SpongeBob SquarePants & Patrick Star, Sheldon J. Plankton & Eugene Krabs
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Idk if you'll read this but Jealous Karen I just wanna see a jealous Karen in action"  
> College AU

It _shouldn’t_ have made her jealous. By all accounts, there was nothing to be jealous _of_. Sheldon had very assuredly used past tense when talking about the crush, and she and Sheldon were just friends. Of course, Karen wanted to be more than that, but that simply was not their situation.   
  
But nonetheless, when Sheldon casually let out a “Oh yeah, I had a crush on Eugene in high school. Glad that died out.” jealousy was the only word to describe how she felt. Luckily for Karen, she was able to cover up that jealousy quite well, especially given how casually it had slipped off his tongue, and how easily he segued into the next part of the story he was telling. If he could tell that she wasn’t quite hanging onto every precious syllable like she usually did, he did a very good job of not letting on.  
  
Her jealousy was harder to hide, however, a few days later, when she, Sheldon, and Eugene all ended up getting dinner together. They sat in their usual arrangement - Sheldon and Eugene next to each other, and Karen on the other side, across from Sheldon. Though she never questioned it before, Karen was starting to feel as though she might be third wheeling.  
  
Now, Eugene and Karen never did quite get along. They both tried, for Sheldon’s sake, but they never did quite click. Eugene found Karen bossy and dry. Karen found Eugene boisterous and self centered. Sheldon knew they didn’t get along, but tried so, so hard to force his friends into enjoying each other’s company.   
  
But today, Karen’s usual attempts at playing nice were discarded in favor of glaring, stabbing her meal hall food with a fork repetitively as Sheldon and Eugene talked and laughed while recounting something that had happened back in high school. Her glares and bad mood only intensified as Sheldon turned his body away from hers, facing Eugene, a hand falling on the redhead’s shoulder as they continued to guffaw.  
  
Forcing a forkful of food into her mouth, Karen’s eyes narrowed as she chewed, swallowed and then spoke, in more of a monotone than usual “I think it’s time I head back to my dorm.”  
  
Almost immediately, Sheldon’s demeanor changed. No longer laughing, cheeks paling from the red they’d been moments before, a very serious look took over his features as his eye bounced back and forth between Karen and her seemingly still full plate. “Are you sure? You’ve barely touched your food.”  
  
“Yeah.” she deadpanned, eyes fluttering back down to her plate as she confessed, passive aggressively as possible “I don’t have much of an appetite.”   
  
Instantly, Sheldon stood up. “Well, here, let’s box these up and I can walk you back.” His cheeks flushed a bit, as he added “Make sure you get back safe, and all that. I don’t want you walking back alone if you’re not feeling well.”  
  
“You sure you want to leave Eugene here by himself?” her words carried a bitterness that Eugene had picked up on, but Sheldon sure had not.  
  
“He’ll be fine!” Sheldon answered for him, waving a hand and arm dismissively. And then, with a sudden sternness and clenched jaw, his head snapped back to his roommate as he questioned a very pointed “Right?”  
  
Eugene, of course, picked up what Sheldon was putting down. Unlike Karen, he _knew_ he was a third wheel. “Oh, uh, right!”  
  
Already having maneuvered to the other side of the table, Sheldon put one hand in the small of Karen’s back as the other lifted her tray. “C’mon,” his voice was quieter, more gentle than she was used to hearing “Let’s get you home.”  
  
Without a word from Karen, Sheldon boxed up both of their leftovers, and ushered them out of the meal hall and into the cool, starry night of the university campus at 7PM on a weeknight in November. They walked for about two minutes before either of them spoke, Sheldon being the one to break the silence, offering an “Oh!” and then unzipping his hoodie and draping it around Karen’s shoulders without asking. “Don’t want you catching cold if you already can’t eat.”  
  
A part of Karen felt very smug. Sheldon wasn’t letting Eugene wear his sweater, now, was he? Another, larger part of her though, just felt warm. Partially from the newly added layer, but also just from the idea of wearing Sheldon’s sweater. It was intimate, and, if she was being entirely honest, kind of sexy. “Thanks.”  
  
Another quick moment of silence, this one only 20-30 seconds, before Sheldon questioned. “Is everything alright? I mean, I know, clearly not, you said you didn’t feel like eating, but you weren’t saying much either and you’re not saying much now and I’m just concerned that-”  
  
“Well it’s hard to for me to talk much with all your rambling.” though the words were harsh, they were said with a smile, and an eye roll, and an elbow playfully nudging his. She was _teasing_ , that’s all. And she was comfortable enough with him to assume that he knew that.  
  
“Alright, alright, I guess I’ll just never talk again…”  
  
“I’d love to see you try.” she continued to tease.  
  
“Ah, see, now _there’s_ my Karen!” though he rolled his eye, he was also beaming.  
  
And then, the smile faltered.  
  
Karen was concerned, until he started rambling once again. “Not that, I uh…you’re your own person, of course! And uh…women aren’t property…and it’s not even like…we’re…that’s to say….ughh none of this is coming out right…”  
  
“Hey. Sheldon.” she walked into front of him, her hands, covered by the sleeves of his sweater, grabbed his forearms. “It’s fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was not a request, just a silly little idea I had at work yesterday. Canon to the musical/humanized AU, takes place a few weeks/months after the musical.

Normally, this is the exact sort of detail Sheldon J Plankton would miss. Usually he’d be either wallowing in self pity for his latest scheme to foil Krabs having once again failed, or he’d be so hyper-focused on his revenge scheme already that anything but his own evil genius musings would go unnoticed. But something, and even he couldn’t quite tell what at first, was different. He’d gone into his favorite coffee shop in Bikini Bottom, ordered his usual afternoon drink, but something was…off. 

He could see Perch Perkins out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t even try to hold in his scoff. Shouldn’t Perch be reporting the news? Keeping citizens of Bikini Bottom informed? Hmm. Maybe Perch was who he needed involved in his next plot. After all, everyone in Bikini Bottom listened to him. If Perch wasn’t on the air, people may as well have just read the newspaper. If he could convince Perch to convince the masses to love Chum…

So wrapped up in this own thoughts, he didn’t noticed the obvious flaw in his plan.

“You wanna do something fun?” Perch Perkins leaned in over his green tea, closer to his coffee date, gently running a hand through his own hair in the process. “You wanna watch Mamma Mia 2?”

Karen merely blinked blankly at him, stating. “I do not wish to hear a group of non-singing celebrities perform second tier ABBA songs.”

Slamming his mug on the table, Perch argued “There is no such thing as a second tier ABBA song!”

“I’m A Marionette.” Karen listed, boredom completely over taking her tone and features. “Kisses of Fire. When All Is Said and Done. Under Attack. The D-”

“You know what I’m hearing, Karen?” Perch questioned, a single eyebrow raised as he laid a well manicured hand on top of hers. “A list of top tier songs.”

“HEY!” Plankton’s voice barked, suddenly hovering behind Perch. “Hands of the merchandise, pal! She’s taken!”

“What am I, a car?” Karen tiredly asked, though her question fell on deaf ears.

“And just how far did you think you’d get with this little affair, huh?” Plankton questioned, too riled up to notice Perch holding back laughter.

“This just in, getting coffee with a friend is now considered an affair.”

Karen snickered, and Plankton gasped in shock. “I’m funny too, you know! Laugh at me, Karen!”

A bemused smirk on her lips, Karen promised “Believe, Sheldon, I do.”

“I do!” Perch interrupted. “Another top tier ABBA song.”

“Of course.” Plankton interjected. “There’s no such thing as a second tier ABBA song.”

“THANK YOU!” Perch cried.

At the same time Karen shook her head and muttered “Not you, too…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okok listen. Karen x Plankton but its fluff and everything is happy bc they deserve the world"
> 
> Canon to the musical/humanized

The sunlight streaming in from the thin lines of the closed blinds could be felt on both of their faces. It was warm, and more of a saturated yellow than their typical mornings did. As Plankton blinked his one good eye open he could see the dust particles floating around. A part of him inwardly groaned, knowing that Karen would say something about the dust. Another part of him didn’t think she would - mostly due to the fact that it was 11:30AM and neither of them had made their way out of bed yet. A typical, lazy Bikini Bottom Sunday.

Plankton finally moved a bit, his previous position of one arm loosely dangling over Karen’s side from 8 inches away so he could sleep without her crushing his other arm, to slipping that same arm under her now, his torso pressed flat against her back. “Mmmm,” she stirred, slowly. “Morning, honey.”

“Morning,” his voice was sort of croaky, filled with morning grog. Karen’s wasn’t, he noted, but then, it never was. Always bright and crisp and clear and true. Consistent. He did love consistency. “Sleep well?”

Moving a hand to interlace her fingers with his - a little awkward given his current hold on her - she sighed “That’s a given, considering it’s almost noon and we’re still here.”

He didn’t press the topic further. Instead, he opted to burry his face in the crook of neck. The delighted hum his wife let out sent butterflies erupting in his stomach. 20 years, and something as insignificant as a hum was still giving him butterflies. “Karen?”

“Yes, Sheldon?”

“I love you.” he murmured gently, placing a featherlight kiss on her shoulder. 

“Really?” even though he couldn’t see her face, he knew, instinctively, she was smirking. “Between the marriage and the sex and the cuddling I couldn’t tell.”

“Hey, I’m being romantic and genuine here!” his whine was only-half hearted. “Don’t ruin the mood with your sarcasm.”

“I thought you liked my sarcasm.” again, her back was still to him, but he could tell she was pouting. “I was under the impression you found it endearing.”

“Of course it’s endearing, dearest.” Plankton let out a small yawn. “I find everything about you utterly enchanting. Thus the whole ‘I Love You’ thing.”

“Well.” she paused, turning in his arms so that she was now facing him. Peering up, and then pushing up ever so slightly to kiss her husband, she smiled “I’m glad we got that settled.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t have to do this.”  
> “I wish that were true.”
> 
> Monster AU!  
> So basically you got Sheldon who’s a vampire, Sandy who’s a weresquirrel, Squidward as a Phantom of the Opera type, and Patrick who’s a Frankenstien’s Monster type. They are all basically being held in a house arrest type situation, free to live in their little house on the outskirts of town but not wanted by Bikini Bottom as a society since they’ve all wreaked havoc on the town before.  
> Spongebob is town’s local hero kid. Ever since he was young, his upbeat unbreakable positivity and unwavering stick-to-it-iveness have been utilized by the town to stop disaster, including sending him to save them from the monsters multiple times.  
> When a race of alien robots invade and threaten to not just destroy and conquer Bikini Bottom, but the world, the town decides it’s best to send the monsters at them like a little monster army. Spongebob, worried for his monster friends, decides to spearhead this process so that he can help them plan and train.

“Well Sheldon?” Bobby asked as the vampire stumbled back into their little cottage hideaway, previously braided hair loose and tangled, clothing slightly disheveled, random streaks of purple smeared across his body. “How’d it go?”

“Huh?” he seemed a little...out of it. Dazed. Preoccupied.

“The one robot you managed to seduce,” Sandy coaxed. “Did you manage to persuade it into revealing _anything_ that could help us defeat them?”

“OH!” Sheldon cried, eye widening. “Yes. That. Uh, well, you see, a few, ahem, _discoveries_ , were made, but nothing that might destroy the whole fleet.” With a half hearted shrug, he added “Guess I’ll just have to go back and try again tomorrow.”

Placing a hand on Plankton’s shoulder, Bobby offered “You don’t _have_ to do this.”

Sighing dramatically, the vampire spieled. “I wish that were true. Alas, I fear my rendez-vous with Karen are our only hope in learning anything about them. So I guess I’ll have to make my visits more frequent.”

“Karen.” Sandy repeated, crossing her arms over her chest. “Is that what you’ve named it?”

“ _She_ has a name, yes!” Plankton barked. “Not that I named her, as you’re inferring.”

“I still don’t know why we’re bothering with this plan in the first place!” Edward cried, hands raised over his head. “Sheldon should’ve gone with Sandy’s original plan! Kill the robot, teach us what you had to do to kill the robot, we kill the robots, the planet is saved, problem solved!”

“Well now that it trusts him, maybe it’ll trust one of us, and we could do it!” Patrick suggested hopefully.

“NO ONE IS LAYING A FINGER ON HER!” Sheldon was fuming, a vein visible in his forehead. Noticing all eyes on him, he quickly cleared his throat, feigning a sense of calm as he added “Except me, of course! But I feel like we can get more information out of her first! There might be an easier way of taking down the whole fleet than killing them one by one.”

“And what if there’s not?” Edward crossed his arms.

“Then we’ll just have to take them out one by one like you suggested.” Plankton answered. “Killing Karen isn’t going to change that part of the plan, but it might hinder a faster victory.”

“I think Sheldon has a point.” Bobby’s voice was tentative, unsure. “And if this Karen really does trust him the way he says she does, than maybe the others can listen to reason, too. Maybe this doesn’t _have_ to end in violence.”

Plankton nodded, thankful for the boy taking his side, despite knowing this was going to end in violence one way or the other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Ship/friendship of choice, “Teach me how to [insert skill here]?”"  
> Note: we’re playing a little fast and loose with script versions here since I’ve been using Broadway as the base but this requires a bit from the Chicago production so we’re just gonna vibe

Karen wasn’t expecting Plankton back for another 40 minutes. He’d only been gone for 20, and his plans usually took at least an hour to fail. For a moment, she forgot they ran a restaurant at all, the concept of a “customer” so completely foreign, that when she heard the front door swing open and footsteps just slightly heavier than her husband’s she didn’t know what to make of it.

Of course, she did, eventually, remember they were running a business, and left the back room of the Chum Bucket to find Perch Perkins, of all people, standing in the middle of her restaurant. “If you’re looking to interview my husband about whatever felony he’s committed today, he isn’t back yet.”

“You know, for as often as Plankton brags about how smart the two of you are, I would’ve thought you’d notice that I don’t have my camera crew.” Perch smirked smugly.

Raising an eyebrow skeptically, Karen questioned “And I don’t suppose you’re here for a Chum Burger?”

“Has anyone ever come in here for a Chum Burger?” he raised an eyebrow to mirror hers.

With a fold of her arms over her chest, Karen gave the vague answer of “You’d be surprised.” After all, sometimes, Sheldon’s schemes worked. Or at least worked partway. And they’d have a few customers before getting foiled again.

“As much as I’m enjoying this back and forth,” Perch smirked once again, but his demeanor changed, suddenly, more genuine, as he stated “I actually did come over here for a reason.”

“And that was?”

He sighed, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket, as he ventured “I’m sure you remember our volcanic panic.”

Smiling a little more dreamily than Perch would’ve anticipated, Karen replied “How could I forget?”

“And at the town meeting-”

“If this is about Sheldon’s hypnotism scheme-”

“-I was wondering if you could...hypnotism?”

Karen’s eyes went wide, immediately feigning innocence “Who said anything about hypnotism?”

“You did. Just now.”

Pursing her lip in pretend thought, she paused, shaking her head “Sorry, you must’ve misheard me.” she lied, fairly easily. That was one benefit of having been married to Sheldon for 20 years. “What had you been asking?”

Not wanting to beat around the bush any longer, Perch simply blurted out “Teach me how to beat box!?”

Had Karen been drinking anything, she would’ve choked on it. “Come again?”

“When Plankton so thoroughly convinced us to leave Bikini Bottom, which he managed to do through song...you backed him up. With some very impressive beatboxing. I doubt he would’ve been able to freestyle like that without your help.”

“And why do you want learn how to do it?” Karen seemed guarded, cautious. 

Perch shrugged “I need to flesh out the ‘special skills’ area of my resume.”

“And beatboxing is going to help you get news jobs?”

With an agitated sigh, his eyes rolled as he pressed “Will you teach me or not?”

“Alright, alright, weather boy, calm down.” Karen took a seat on one of the cold metal arrangements in the restaurant, and motioned for Perch to join. “Now, have you ever done any kind of vocal percussion before?”

Perch’s eyebrows knit together “Vocal...? Percussion....? What does that have to beatboxing?”

“Ho boy.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“You can stay in there, where you can no longer break the geneva convention.” But as a Drabble for Karen and Plankton. That sounds very Them to me."
> 
> Canon to the musical, post musical

“Karen, my love, this is starting to get ridiculous.”

He was looking up at her from Spot’s kennel, where his wife had just locked him in. Apparently not listening to him ( _’not that she ever did’_ ) she simply stated “You can stay in there, where you can no longer break the Geneva Convention.”

“But baby,” he whined, pouting, batting his eyelashes up at her “ _We_ were going to break the Geneva Convention. _Together_. As a _team_.”

“Really?” she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over chest “Because I don’t exactly remember being consulted on any Geneva Convention breaking schemes.”

“...is this what you’re actually upset about? That I didn’t include you?”

Since he was in the kennel and his eye level was at about her ankles, it was hard for him to miss the silver boots fidgeting around as she twisted one foot back and forth, before muttering out a small “...maybe.”

“The only reason I didn’t include you is because I forsaw...this. I didn’t quite picture the dog kennel, though.” he let out a light chuckle. “That was a very creative choice on your end, dear. But I knew this was extreme, even for us, and I didn’t want to cause a bigger rift-”

Immediately, Karen’s posture changed. Plankton could tell, from watching her feet move. “...what was that last part?”

“I didn’t want to cause a bigger rift. I really am trying to make this r-”

“No no, when you said this was extreme.”

“Right, even for us. And I know-”

“Us.” she repeated, her voice unusually small and warm.

“Of course.” he did his best to shrug, despite still being locked in a dog kennel. 

“Not...just you.”

“Karen, sweetheart, we’re a team now. I meant that.”

There was a long pause, and Plankton was afraid he’d maybe said the wrong thing. That maybe Karen didn’t _want_ to be a team anymore. That maybe that spark they reignited, that magic they’d rediscovered during the volcano scare had died off once again. 

But he was relieved of those thoughts as his wife knelt at the kennel, unlocking and opening the door. “Alright Sheldon. What exactly did you have in mind?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Zambonis don’t actually make the ice, they just make it even. They don’t make the ice.” - Drabble request, your choice 
> 
> Battle of the Bands AU, technically, but it's vague enough to work in just about any humanized AU

“I’ve never actually been inside this arena before.” Sandy admitted with a gasp that echoed throughout the large, and at the moment, fairly empty building.

“I have, once!” Bobby chirped. “Came to see a hockey game! Though it is sort of strange to see the floor is concrete, and not ice.”

“Well that’s what the zamoboni’s for!” Patrick added, helpfully. “To make the ice!”

“Zambonis don’t actually make the ice, Patrick, they just make it even.” Sandy corrected. Patrick opened his mouth to interject, but Sandy interrupted “They don’t make the ice.”

“Then why is there no ice now?” Patrick questioned. And then, as if a light bulb appeared over his head, he gasped “Unless they also make the concrete even...”

“Don’t be silly, Patrick.” Bobby interjected “The ice needs to come from somewhere.”

“So it’s the the zamboni!”

“Ho boy,” Sandy muttered, shaking her head, knowing she was going to need to draw up a diagram in order to explain it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain" prompt for karenton?
> 
> Canon musical au!

The earlier soft pitter patter of rain was now replaced by the harsh and heavy fall of droplets. Sheldon J Plankton felt his legs shake with each crack of thunder, his good eye slightly blinded in he looked into the direction of the lightning. And yet, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the window.

Not because of the storm, mind you. No, his fixation was on what he considered the very sexy silhouette - silver shining almost celestially with each illumination of a new strike of lightning. Karen continued to peer out the window, unmoving. And her husband, just as unmoving, had been standing several feet away, watching her almost as intensely as she’d been watching the storm.

At least, that’s how it’d been for the past half or hour so. Karen had lost track of time, unsure if she’d been at the window for 5 minutes or an hour. She was so lost in her trance-like state that she jumped a little at the sudden sensation of Sheldon’s hand on the small of her back. His voice was low, lower than usual, almost sending a shiver down her spine as he questioned “You really like this weather, huh?”

“I find it soothing.” she answered honestly, eyes finally tearing away from the window, almost needing a moment to readjust as she lovingly blinked up at her husband. 

“You know, sweetheart,” he smirked, moving the hand that had been at the small of her back around to the far end of her waist, anchoring her closer, pulling her hip so close it bumped his. “Most people don’t find these sudden bursts of thunder and lightning quite so calming.”

Eyes back out on the storm, though she moved to rest her cheek on his shoulder, she hummed slightly, before questioning “Are you saying you’re afraid of a little storm, Sheldon?”

“Afraid?!?” his sudden romantic groove was lost, so aggressively denying her accusation. But the look she shot him reminded him to calm himself, at least a bit, before he tried. “No, no. I find it a bit...exciting.”

“I can already tell I’m going to regret asking this,” she sighed “Exciting how?”

Nudging her, playfully, he smiled knowingly “The kind of excitement I can only get from you, Karebear.”

She fought back a chuckle “Really? This storm is getting you going?”

“Hey, you’ve sat through all those cheesy movies with me!” He was getting loud again, but in a kind hearted, intimate way. Karen was really the only person to ever bring that out in him. “Kissing in the rain is sexy!”

“In the rain?” she rolled her eyes, falling back into her routine naggy bickering “Sheldon, are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious!” he nodded earnestly.

“We could get struck by lightning,” she started, hands moving to her hips “And you want to kiss in the rain?”

“Well excuse me for being romantic!”

“You can be romantic inside Sheldon!” she cried “Where we won’t get struck by lightning!”

“And miss out on the intense, passionate, rain kissing?!?”

“Why can’t we have intense, passionate, inside kissing?!?”

Grabbing her by the waist with both hands, pulling her flush against him, he practically purred “And here I was thinking you’d never ask.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an actual prompt I received, but a drabble based on an old plot bunny I'd been kicking around back in 2018.
> 
> Canon to the musical, everyone's-human-except-karen-who-is-a-robot

Oh happy day! The Krabby Patty formula was in his hands, and Krabs was none the wiser. And as if he couldn’t feel any more elated, while taking this small victory march back over to the Chum Bucket - there was a vehicle parked outside! A customer! Nothing could stop absolute elation of Sheldon J Plankton.

Flinging open the door to the restaurant, he couldn’t wait to tell his wife the great news. Well, the great news about the formula. He assumed she already knew about the customer.

But the happy feeling, the warm sensation tingling through his body, completely left upon entering the Chum Bucket. He could physically feel the color draining from his face. There, in the middle of the Chum Bucket, the restaurant he’d built and cared for with Karen for the last 20 years, laid several of her disembodied parts. His horror only grew as he noticed two mechanics still breaking her apart piece by piece - her waist up now scraps scattered across the floor, her waist down, however, still mostly in tact as they unscrewed and broke apart what remained of his wife.

“Mr. Plankton!” he knew that voice. He knew that face. He’d seen him before. A few weeks ago. He’d...he’d tried to talk him into ‘a newer WIFEOMATIC system since the model currently in your possession was recalled years ago’. As if Karen could be recalled. As if there were anything wrong with her. As if the love of his life, often the only thing in his life that kept him going, could simply be dismantled and replaced. “We finally got around to bringing over that upgrade for you! Free of charge! And the boys are just about finished with that old model...”

Karen’s eyes stared up at him from the severed head, face plate removed, on the floor - cold, dead and unblinking. Maybe he hoped she’d show come kind of pleading emotion, some sign that it wasn’t too late.

And then he woke up, gasping for breath, drenched in a cold sweat.

He gripped at the silk bedsheets beneath him before turning, letting out a labored sigh of relief upon seeing his wife’s silhouette under the blankets next to him. She was here. It was just a dream. And yet...there was still that lingering uncertainty. Sure, her body was in tact, but what if she...?

He scooted over to her side. Pressing his torso against her back, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could. She didn’t need to breath. She wasn’t human. She didn’t have lungs. He had to remind himself. She always slept like this. But that didn’t stop the tears from slowly leaking out of his eyes. He hated this. He hated how irrational this one dream had made him. He hated how irrational she made him. But he loved her! What else was he supposed to do? How else was he supposed to cope?!?

Obviously, waking up to your husband who normally slept with his back to you suddenly holding you in a tight embrace while sobbing would’ve been an odd thing for anyone to wake up to. Karen was no exception. A hand blindly reaching to the bedside table where she sat her glasses, she managed to mumble out a small “Sheldon? Honey? What’s wrong?”

His crying stopped, momentarily. His eye widened, a warm, fluttering sensation growing in his chest. She was here. She was safe. She was okay. It was okay. “You’re...you’re...” and then, he lost it again. He hated feeling like this. Emotional. Vulnerable. Weak. But at least now the emotions overwhelming him were more positive. Karen was alive and safe and in his arms.

“Sweetheart,” she murmured softly, running a hand through his hair. “Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

It took a few seconds for the last of the sobs to leave his body, before he sniffled, nuzzling his face farther into her hair, not willing to move to look her in the eyes quite yet “It’s nothing. Not important. But...Karen...?”

“Yes, Sheldon?”

“I love you, you know?”

“Yeah.” she hummed lightly, “I know.”

“And I would never let anything bad happen to you. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

“This doesn’t exactly sound like it’s nothing or not important, babe.”

He sighed. “Bad dream. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

She nodded, wiggling out of his embrace enough to then lean up and place a small kiss against his lips. “If you ever do want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”

“I don’t make a habit of talking about feelings, Karen.” he rolled his eye, before leaning down, deciding it was his turn to kiss her. “Except for this one. I love you. Now say it back.”

“So bossy,” she rolled her eyes, “but I love you anyway.”

With a yawn, cuddling back into her hair, now content to try to fall back asleep, he murmured “Thanks for saying it back.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't like to wear my glasses when I'm committing unspeakable acts of evil. They make me look bookish." For the college au?

Sheldon couldn’t believe his luck. His intro to philosophy professor had randomly paired everyone up for a team paper. It wasn’t even worth that much of their total grade, but it meant, by some divine intervention, that he got to spend a few hours every afternoon for a week with Karen.

Of course, Sheldon had been absolutely taken with Karen since the first month of their first semester, when she accidentally tripped him in the middle of meal hall. Ever since that fateful encounter, he’d spent hours dreaming, designing, scheming ways to spend more time with her. And now, with no intervention of his own, it was finally happening.

They’d added each other on Facebook and used messenger to figure out a time and place - specifically right now, in the library. Not wanting to blow his chance at romancing his dream girl, Sheldon planned and practiced what he was going to say to woo her for days. And yet, when he arrived, none of that came out. What did come out was “Are you wearing contacts?”

“Hmm?” Karen lifted her head from the textbook she’d been scanning over. 

“Your glasses.” he tried again. “You’re not wearing them. Just kinda took me by surprise, since you’ve had them on every time I’ve seen you.”

Now, there was a reason Karen wasn’t wearing her glasses. A good reason! But not a reason she wanted to explain to Sheldon. She wasn’t wearing them because of how often she was told ‘you look so pretty without your glasses!’ and she had a huge crush on Sheldon, and she wanted him to think she was pretty, too. But obviously, she couldn’t tell him that. So instead, she lied “I don't like to wear my glasses when I'm committing unspeakable acts of evil. They make me look bookish.”

“Really?” Sheldon was unconvinced, evident from his tone, and from the way he raised an eyebrow and scrunched up his nose. Karen thought it was the ‘unspeakable acts of evil’ he was gong to comment on, but to her pleasant surprise, he asked “Bookish?”

Raising an eyebrow of her own, Karen countered “Yes, bookish.”

“No, no, ‘bookish’ is a word for ugly people.” he waved a hand dismissively. “Ugly nerds really. You can’t describe yourself as ‘bookish’ when you’ve got that whole sexy librarian thing going on.”

“Sexy Librarian?” she repeated in a sarcastic tone of disbelief.

“Yeah, you know, like, tight blouses, tight skirts, glasses, hushing with threat of ‘punishment’...”

“And that’s the vibe my glasses give off? Really?” she was completely deadpan.

Sheldon felt his cheeks go red. “I mean...yes? Sort of? Don’t get me wrong, you’re plenty sexy without the glasses, but...”

Had Karen been drinking something, she would’ve choked on it. “We should, uh...” there were a lot of things she thought they should do. Most of them would be inappropriate to do in the university library. Then again, if he thought she fit the ‘sexy librarian’ archetype, maybe that was what he expected? “...we should work on this paper.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i love you, you enormously stubborn pain in the ass.“ for sponge au of your choice ?
> 
> Office AU! This AU in full is pretty long but the short version needed for context here is that all the characters work for Eugene Krabs, who put a "no dating coworkers" rule in place - but Karen and Plankton don't really listen to it. Sheldon's the CFO and Karen works in IT, Sheldon continuously comes up with fake IT issues so he can hook up with Karen in his office.

Karen remembered when seeing the little green notification pop up - _Sheldon Plankton requires help with his printer_ \- used to set her heart fluttering. Now it felt almost...routine. Mundane. Sure, they had very good chemistry and there was the thrill of being caught. But these little office hookups were becoming...predictable.

Months ago, when this all started, she had to hide her giddiness as she made her way to his office. She’d shut the door and be filled with an overwhelming wave of both anticipation and excitement in the moments leading up to his lips crashing down on hers. But it was so commonplace now that she had no readable expression on the walk over, tiredly shutting his door as she sighed. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

“You can try to act a little more excited,” he rolled his good eye as he approached her. “No one’s making you be here.”

“I have to fix the printer, remember?” she countered sarcastically.

“You know, I’m starting to get the feeling you don’t want to be here, Karen.” his voice was tense, angry.

“Really?” her hands were on her hips now. “And just what gave you that inclination?!?”

He didn’t answer the question, instead arguing “If you didn’t want to do this today you could’ve just texted me instead of showing up and being an enormously stubborn pain in the ass!”

“ _I’m_ a pain in the ass?!?”

“YES!”

“Well if I’m such an enormously stubborn pain in the ass, then why do you keep hitting me up for office quickies?!? I’m sure there are plenty of people on tinder who’d-”

“BECAUSE I **LOVE** _YOU_ , YOU ENORMOUSLY STUBBORN PAIN IN THE ASS!”

“-be more than happy to....” her bickering ceased immediately. Her voice quiet, timid, she asked “...you what?”

Awkwardly fidgeting with the sleeve of his button up, Sheldon muttered out a sheepish “you heard me.”

“You’ve never said that before.” Karen stated, more as a fact that anything else. “ _We’ve_ never said that before.” 

“Yeah well...” he finally brought his eye back up to her, admitting “I do.” with a small shrug.

Karen felt frozen. She was honestly having difficulties processing the confession. It’s not like they were really dating. Sure, they had sex all the time and they texted non stop but they never really saw each other outside of work, due to the whole ‘no dating coworkers’ policy. “Oh.” was all she managed to get out.

“I know that Krabs’ stupid policy makes things difficult...” his voice was small, genuine, a side she honestly didn’t get to see much of “and I totally get if you don’t want the same thing, but, you’re more than a booty call to me.”

“Well, I never thought ‘you’re more than a booty call to me’ would feel so romantic.” she half joked, slowly walking over to him, snaking her arms around his neck, placing a light kiss against his lips. “But you’re more than a booty call to me, too.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you’re up for Karen angst/whump could you do “if i die, tell him i loved him” from the ‘relationship aesthetic III’ prompts please!! In the normal musical au or the robot au, whatever one you want. Maybe something happened when the rocks were falling from the volcano maybe?? I’m not sure

As if Larry with a jellyfish on a stick wasn’t enough to spook him - Spongebob immediately found a very sad looking Karen just...sitting on the ground. A part of him knew he needed to clear the area, find Sandy, and climb the volcano as soon as possible to prevent the apocalypse. But there was a larger part of him, a more integral part of him, who couldn’t just leave Karen sitting there. Not without asking what he could do to help her first.

“Karen?” he tried, tentatively, crouching and leaning over a little so that she knew where the voice was coming from. “Is everything alright?”

“Nothing’s alright, Spongebob.” she muttered, “I don’t think I’ll...” she trailed off, before letting out a very quiet “Never mind.”

So quiet, it seemed, that the redhead didn’t even hear her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Never mind.” she repeated, more assuredly. 

“Karen,” he moved to sit down next to her in an act of solidarity. Sandy could wait another few minutes. “I’m your friend. And I care about you. I know we’re all scared right now, but you can still talk to me. You can tell me what’s going on.”

Karen inhaled sadly. Well, she may as well, all things considered. Lifting her arm, she showed Spongebob where a small piece of her synthetic skin had fallen off, glass shattered inside the circuits and wiring. “From one of yesterday’s avalanches. There’ve been small glitches here and there. But now...I can barely move.”

Spongebob gasped. This was worse than he thought. “If there is anything I can do t-”

“If I die,” she interrupted. “Tell him I loved him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Spongebob tried to argue. “Y-you’re not going to die! And Plankton already knows how much you-”

“Spongebob,” she interrupted. “Promise me.”

“I...I can’t promise you that, Karen. I’m about to engage in something with a fairly high ‘not coming back’ risk.” he admitted, before adding “but I can go get Plankton first. So you can tell him yourself.”

She really didn’t have the energy to argue.

As Spongebob ran off, Plankton emerged from where he’d been hiding, making leisurely strides towards where his wife sat, a smirk etched on his face as he slowly applauded her. “When you said you wanted to scheme with me again, I never imagined you’d provide this level of dedication. Sending the boy off on a wild goose chase, delaying his trip to the top of Mount Humungous...”

Karen shot him an exasperated look.

He didn’t seen to pick up on it. “Now come on, dear, we’ve got a life as the rulers of Chumville to prepare for.”

“Sheldon...”

“Yes I know we’re not technically the rulers yet but...” He paused, realizing his wife hadn’t gotten off the ground to follow him. “...Karen?”

“I can’t move, Sheldon.” her voice wasn’t the usual bored, naggy, bickering tone he anticipated. It was quiet, and trembling, but sound and sure. “I got hit in one of the avalanches. It did something to my systems. I can’t...”

“Heh heh, quit the joking, this is serious.” But they could both tell from his tone, he knew she wasn’t joking. Kneeling down next to her, looking at the damage, he muttered a quick “No,” and then “no no no” and then louder, more frenzied “no no no no no no NO!”

“Just forget about it.” Karen tried. “Just leave me here for the volcano. Once you’ve gotten everyone hypnotized they won’t question my absence.”

“Forget about WHAT exactly, Karen?!?” he was getting angry now. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that. “Forget about you? About us?!?”

“Oh please, you can just build another wife when you get to Chumville-”

“I don’t want another wife!” He argued, the anger in his voice still roared, but it was also laced with a shaky panic. “I love you! I always have! I can’t just replace you...”

He stopped, mid thought, and then smiled. 

“...but I can replace your parts. Let me just....I’ll carry you back home, I’ll start playing with the circuitry, you’ll be good as new before the escape pod gets here.”

“What about the land mammal and Rhombus Slacks?” Karen questioned “How are you going to prevent them from...”

“They’re going to die before they make it to the top anyway.” he waved a hand dismissively. “Besides, I don’t want to rule over these heathens when we reach Chumville without you at my side. You’re more important to me than anyone who’s ever lived in Bikini Bottom.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I feel like you should take into account the fact that we are absolutely not prepared for this kind of an encounter.” plankaren monsters and aliens au please?

There was silence, for a moment. There always was. The waves crashed down and returned to the ocean, calmer than they’d been. Just for a moment, still and quiet, almost as if the very motion of either of them moving would somehow erase the storm they’d just endured.

It was Plankton who moved first, bringing a hand from it’s rest on Karen’s back to instead slowly play with her hair. She let out a content hum, and it made his heart flutter. He didn’t know his heart could still do that. There was a lot of things about himself Karen was making him discover.

He shifted, slowly, to kiss her. Tender, slow, drawn out, before moving the hand from her hair to tilt up her chin. Those enchanting silvery grey eyes shining up at him, he questioned “Did you imagine any of this happening before you invaded earth?”

“Elaborate?” she asked, her tone somewhat dry, though he could tell the question was genuine. They hadn’t known each other long, but there was an undeniable click. They just got each other. Understood each other. Sheldon Plankton had never felt understood before in his life, even centuries ago, before he was turned.

“You know, a very handsome vampire having his way with you.” he wiggled his eyebrows, causing her to giggle.

“I feel like you should take into account the fact that we were absolutely not prepared for this of an encounter.” she paused, leaning up to kiss him. Pulling away, she added. “Since so many human folklore monsters, vampires, werewolves, mermaids, etcetera, are debated even among humankind, we also assumed they were myths.”

“Well you were mythtaken.” he chuckled, hoping Karen hadn’t heard the classic myth/mistaken pun before.

From her onslaught of giggles, it seemed as though she hadn’t. “But your being a vampire isn’t the biggest anomaly here, you know.”

He sighed, once again running a hand through her hair. “I do know. Why my power of seduction failed on the rest of your fleet but worked on you remains a mystery.”

“I’m glad it didn’t work.” she smirked, leaning up for another kiss. “I don’t do well with sharing.”

Leaning down to kiss her again - god he’d never get tired of all the kisses - he pulled away, smirking “Mmm, don’t worry baby, you won’t have to. I’m all yours, I promise.”

Karen blinked up at him, confusion etched over her cute little face. “Sheldon, I’m not an infant. I’m not sure why you would refer to me as one.”

“Huh?”

“You called me a baby.”

Eye widening, he let out a loud “OH!” before chuckling. “No, no, not _a_ baby. Just ‘baby’. It’s a term of endearment. Earthlings use diminutive nicknames to show affection to their romantic partners. Baby, Sweetheart, Honey, etcetera.”

“I see. Then you can continue to call me ‘baby’ if you’d like. I like to be shown affection.” Karen bit down on her lip, before asking “Is there a term of endearment you’d like me to call you?”

Well, now he just felt embarrassed. “Heh heh, well, actually, if you wouldn’t mind, I suppose, I might enjoy it if you were to...perhaps...call me ‘Big Guy’ every now and again...”


End file.
